


Steady Your Trembling Hand

by sinverguenza



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Forced Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 09:11:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5920549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinverguenza/pseuds/sinverguenza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey and Kylo Ren are forced into a marriage that neither of them wants. When it comes to consummation, they're at an impasse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steady Your Trembling Hand

“I have no choice but the accept the proposal,” said Rey, her face a stone wall of determination.

“Stop this.”

“I won’t, until you can give me a better option.”

Luke threw his hood back, away from his face. “Rey, the tension between dark and light has raged for millenia. It has ebbed and it has flowed. Do not presume to think that you--”

“I presume nothing!” said Rey. Her hair was pulled away from her face, in the tight style of a Padawan, with one small braid dangling forward. “Which is why I must face this task with bravery and honor. As both you and I have faced challenges in the past.”

“There is another way,” said Luke.

“Then show me it, Master,” said Rey, her voice almost pleading. “Otherwise, I cannot see that I have an option.”

“We can negotiate. We can fight back if needs be. I think it is a grave mistake to send you to him.”

Rey nodded and chewed her lip. The conversation was going as poorly as she had anticipated, as they sat in a small corner alcove of the Resistance base.

She held in her hand a tablet, the words glowing a bright green. A small circle in the upper corner counted down the hours.

“I understand, Master. I am grateful for your protection and for your opinion. But I must ask this,” said Rey, and she tucked her knees under her, and leaned toward Luke. “Do your feelings reveal the will of the Force? Or simply your...wishes for your Padawan?”

Luke sighed, looking older by the moment.

“No, Rey. I resist the Force when I say that I want you to decline. I cannot help but wish that my Padawan were not the sacrifice for this _plan_...if you can call it that.”

“General Organa is wise.”

“I wonder that my sister doesn’t see clearly in this matter,” said Luke thoughtfully.

“You think...she’s trying to save her son?”

“Precisely.”

  
“General Organa would never do anything that selfish. Even unintentionally. Her work is all on behalf of the Resistance.”

Luke laughed a little at that, a mirthless thing. “No one can ever say that you’re not loyal, Rey.”

At that, her lip began to tremble, and she twisted her mouth.

“Cry, if you will. Shed your tears now, so that they will not show later,” said Luke softly.

When Leia bowed her head in assent, she felt the quick snip above her ear and saw her Padawan braid fall to the floor.

“Your training is complete,” said Luke.

Only then did she let her tears fall.

\-----

“This is a burden that I will not bear,” said Kylo Ren, his face devoid of all emotion as it came from behind his black and silver mask.

“This is not a burden, Kylo Ren. This is a sacred calling,” said Snoke, from his pillar hologram.

“I am familiar with the girl, Supreme Leader, and she is dangerous.”

“Which is why you will complete my task,” said Snoke. “The creation of a Neutral Zone will bring us untold access to the Force. And when you breed the girl, a new generation of younglings will bring great power to our side.”

Kylo Ren’s fist tightened inside of his leather glove.

“Accept the contract. Marry the scavenger. The Resistance overestimates their future ability to control the Neutral Zone. We will use this to our advantage. And you,” Snoke pointed fiercely at Kylo Ren, “will follow my orders.”

Kylo Ren sank down to one knee, bowing his head.

“Yes, Supreme Leader. I will do as you say.”

After his dismissal, Kylo Ren lanced his anger and frustration across several hallways worth of electronic items and miscellania, the red sparks and fire insufficient at expressing his rage.

\-----

Her tablet no longer pulsed after she accepted and affixed her fingerprint to the document.

The wedding would take place in less than one sol.

Rey stretched her feet across the small cot in her quarters.

Marriage to Kylo Ren. Ben Solo. Offered as a seal to the contract that would establish an intergalactic Neutral Zone, bound at the perimeter by the Force.

Outside of it, chaos. Dark versus light. War, deceit, rage. All of the things that Rey had trained for. All of the things that mattered.

Inside of the Neutral Zone? The lives of billions and billions of people who were not involved in this epic battle that raged on.

Luke said it would rage on forever.

Rey was not so pessimistic.

How the general had the presence of mind to draft this proposal, Rey didn’t know. It was a masterful execution of diplomacy and transparency, designed to protect those that wished to absent themselves from war.

Snoke had agreed, on the condition that the contract be sealed in the old way. With a marriage. Specifically, between her and Ben.

And Luke had tried to make her believe she had a choice in the matter!

She did not trust Snoke or his intentions. But she trusted the general, and she followed orders.

It was what had kept her alive so long amongst the rabble, in her life before.

The Neutral Zone would save millions of lives.

Rey fingered the short lock of hair where her braid had been cut. To stop her training had nearly killed her. But Luke said that Padawans couldn’t be married.

These facts were miserable ones, but they were hers to bear.

And Ben...to touch him. To be his wife.

Rey closed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

The act of marriage itself was daunting enough. She could not allow herself to consider the day-to-day.

\-----

The tradition of his people dictated a celebration of friends on the night before his wedding.

Kylo Ren had no friends.

And he was incapable of celebration at the moment.

He retreated to his command ship, instead.

It was smaller than many in the fleet, but he preferred it to be so. He had been raised aboard various rebellion craft, most of which had been cramped and falling apart.

Like his--Han Solo’s ship.

Staring at the tablet which faced him, he read his mother’s voice in the words there.

What game was she playing at?

What did she mean, to wish to tie him to the scavenger girl? He had seen her mind, the unholy creation that it was. What could the resistance possibly gain by blending his blood with hers, other than an enormous liability...for either side?

Kylo Ren’s hand shot free, and he unsheathed it, pressed his finger against the tablet.

It was done.

He felt that, in many ways, he had signed his own death warrant.

\-----

The ceremony was to take place on Ithor, a planet in the proposed Neutral Zone. The place designated was one by water, a sign of luck to the people of their culture, Leia explained.

Rey had always considered water a friend. She worried that her marriage by it would change that.

Ithorian handmaidens brought her wedding garments to her quarters. The robes were very plain - thin white muslin that wrapped and wrapped around her waist and then crossed over her shoulders.

It reminded her of what she’d worn back on Jakku, which was a comforting thing. For a moment.

The handmaidens dressed her in silence and removed her shoes, replacing them with a thin pair of slippers. They unbound her hair and twisted coils of it around their fingers, until it hung loose over her shoulders in looping strands.

And finally, they placed a fine white covering over her head and pinned it there.

She was dressed. The soft ping of her door opening made Rey lift her eyes.

“General Organa,” she said, and she cleared her throat.

“Rey. I hope you’ll call me Leia, now. After all this time.”

Rey swallowed. “I will...Leia.”

“You may leave,” said Leia to the handmaidens. “Thank you.”

“I was surprised to have them,” said Rey. “It’s very...traditional.”

“Oh yes,” said Leia. “There’s a whole list’s worth of protocol and tradition that we’re working from here. We can’t have one moment of this wedding called into question in the future. It is too important.”

Again the sick feeling in her stomach. “I understand.”

“Oh, my. Please, don’t look so frightened,” Leia said, and touched her hands to Rey’s cheeks. “You’ve got the courage of a nightscowl, don’t you? I’d be running for the hills, if I was facing what you are.”

That comment served to frighten Rey more. “But...he’s your son.”

“Yes. Please don’t misunderstand me. I came here to comfort you and I fear that I’m failing.” Leia crossed to Rey’s bed and sat on it. “I came to...extend my sure knowledge that you will be able to handle the situation that you face. My brother has told me how capable you are. I want you to know that I wouldn’t send you into this if I believed you would be harmed.”

“I understand,” said Rey, quietly.

“Which is not to say that I believe my son will be particularly pleasant. If I know his mind, he probably doesn’t wish to marry any more than you do.”

For some reason, that information brought a sigh of relief to Rey’s lips. So he didn’t want this necessarily, either.

“I’ve also brought you this,” said Leia, and she held a small metal rod in her hand.

“Medicine?” said Rey.

“It’s a device that will prevent you from conceiving a child. It will last for up to a decade. Do you want me to--”

 

“Yes!” said Rey, her voice thick with emotion. “I thought the deal was that I had to have a child.”

The general seemed almost amused. “That is the deal. But I never put a time stipulation on it. You’re in charge of this part, Rey. You’ll have a child when you say you’ll have a child.”

Relief flowed through her.

Leia gently parted a fold of the fabric on Rey’s abdomen, until a tiny sliver of skin was revealed. She pressed the device to her and a shooting slice of cold reverberated through her body.

Rey laid her head on Leia’s shoulder and embraced her. “Thank you. I’m...so grateful.”

“Of course,” said Leia, with a gentle pat to her back.

When they pulled away, Leia was looking at her sadly. “You’ll marry Ben in the Neutral Zone, and you must stay far away from us. But we’ll communicate, safely and securely. And I know that you will do what you must, Rey. I trust you. May the Force be with you.”

\-----

The wedding was witnessed by a toady old senate representative turned Snoke operative, two handmaidens acting as representatives of Ithor, and the slight, graying member of the Resistance that Kylo Ren remembered as Admiral Statura.

Idiots, all of them, in Kylo Ren’s view.

His ship slowly descended onto Ithor. He could see that Rey was already there, looking like a child at dress up in her traditional wedding garb. The stood on a path close to the water. He could see a few stone buildings in the distance.

The officiant wore a purple skullcap, and gestured at Kylo Ren as he descended down the ramp.

He watched Rey’s eyes widen as he walked toward them, and then she finally looked away. He stood by her, about an arm’s length away.

“Lord Kylo Ren?” said the officiant.

“Yes.”

“We’re ready to proceed.”

“Do it,” he said tersely.

“I must have you remove your headgear,” said the officiant.

For a moment, he didn’t move. And when he did, it was with a swift methodology - he slipped it over his head and held it under his arm.

Without preamble, the officiant began the words.

\----

Rey listened to the officiant without hearing. The words were impersonal, the admonitions improbable.

She would not bind her heart to Ben Solo.

She would not seek his well-being for the ages.

She would never submit her desires to his.

However, she understood tradition, and knew that her part in this was too important to show any reticence. If any part of this marriage was deemed forced or invalid in any way, the Neutral Zone would not stand.

And without it, the safety of so many would be at stake.

Ben looked just as she’d seen him last, over a year ago, in the forest of D’Qar. There was perhaps something more hard around his mouth - some stubborn set of his jaw.

Was it a further hardening of his heart? Or did the murder of his father set heavy on his soul?

Leia and Luke had sworn that he had a soul to begin with, but Rey had her doubts.

The scar she had given him was a pale sliver visible on his jaw. Its presence comforted her. Ben would, every time he saw his face, remember that she had bested him.

A defiant smirk twisted her lips.

The officiant cleared his throat, and she realized that everyone was looking at her. She swallowed thickly. “Pardon?”

“The vow, madam. Do you pledge yourself to this man before us?”

“Yes.”

“Lord Ren, the same?”

Ben’s answer was more of a growl than anything.

The officiant held up a tablet. Rey nodded her head a bit. Good. This was going to be as methodical as she’d hoped. She leaned forward and pressed her hand to the tablet. When Ben’s hand did not join hers, she finally cast her eyes at him.

He stood stock still and straight.

“Sign this damn thing, and let it be done!” said Rey testily, before grudgingly adding, “If you wish to, of course.”

Finally, Ben jerked his hand out of one glove and put his hand to the tablet. It brushed hers, briefly, and she felt the Force pulse between them.

She had not forgotten her brief moments in his tortured mind. She pulled her hand away quickly.

The officiant held the tablet, and a holographic image of Ben and Rey displayed above their heads, along with the official languaging of their marriage.

The officiant spoke. “These records have been filed and set apart to be visible signs of the legal bond which unites you. I now testify to the universe of the legality and legitimacy of this marriage.”

And it was done.

Kylo Ren replaced his helmet with a sucking finality.

“We’re finished here,” he said harshly. “Go to my ship...wife.”

“Absolutely not,” said Rey. “I will not board any ship that you pilot, unless you give me the override codes first and I make sure they work.”

“I have seen what you can do with the smallest capitulation. The answer is no,” said Kylo Ren.

“Our first impasse. It’s an impressive one,” said Rey. “I’m not getting on your ship.”

“I will bodily carry you--”

“You will lose your arm,” said Rey coldly.

The two stared at one another for a long moment. Rey was almost relieved by his helmet - it made it easier for her to stand strong.

“How do you propose we...consummate this marriage?” said Kylo Ren.

“My ship,” said Rey proudly.

There was a long, terrifying pause. The senate representative excused herself. The officiant and the admiral looked like they longed to do the same.

“You’ve lost all intellect and sense if you think that I will step foot on that...thing. You insult me by suggesting it.”

Rey nodded her head, knowing the damage was done and glad of it. She spoke lightly. “Then...we stay on Ithor.”

“Very well,” said Kylo Ren.

One of the handmaidens stepped forward.

There was nothing else to do but follow.

\-----

Kylo Ren disliked the inherent moisture of this planet. He was well-used to the dry passivity of space. The building they were taken to was covered in moss and leaves. The handmaiden led them down a small path lined with pulsing silver rocks and flora. The sun slanted over them, and the two moons rose over the water.

The heavy wooden door of the building swung forward.

Inside was a small set of rooms. A fire had been lit in the common area. A crude-but-efficient kitchen was set up in one corner.

He did not speak it, but thought the accommodations sub-par.

Rey thanked the handmaiden, and the door was shut behind them.

The girl ripped the headdress from her, spilling pins into the rough stone floor.

“There, now I’m revealed. Now you do the same, and we’ll begin.” she asked expectantly.

\-----

“No,” he said. “I’m not going to be ordered around by you.

“Did you want to prolong this experience then?”

“ _No_ ,” he said, his voice distorted behind the blackness.

She detected some strange feeling from him that she could not identify. Whatever it was made her soften only slightly.

“Well then,” she said quietly, remembering that he had obeyed her the last time she asked. “Take off your mask.”

After a long pause, he did.

“Thank you,” she said, because it was the polite thing to do. She took a few steps toward him.

Ben said nothing, but set his mask onto one of the tables by the door.

“I’m sorry about your face,” she said. “The...well,” she ended lamely.

Fire leapt into his eyes. “I would prefer not to speak on that day,” said Ben.

“Understood. May I ask you a question?” she said.

He nodded his head just slightly, pieces of his hair falling forward.

“Did you want to agree to this marriage?”

Ben answered slowly. “I am loyal to my master.”

“That’s hardly an answer,” she replied.

“I will ask you the same question, then.”

She was prepared. “Yes, I wanted to agree to this marriage, because I believe the Neutral Zone is important. I--”

This was when he raised his hand out of nowhere, and she was hit by his mind, invading her own.

\-----

He tired of her questions.

Her thoughts rode on the surface of her mind. He saw his cursed uncle, looking older than ever. He saw his mother, sitting on a green blanket, embracing the girl. He saw--

“ _OUT_!” screamed Rey. She whirled, her gown spinning against her body and then--

There was a shower of sparks raining over their heads, their lightsabers crossed above them. Pressing. Spitting fire.

Her teeth gritted at his, just a few inches away. “I bested you the last time we did this, Ben, with no training. Do you wish to test my abilities now after a year with my Master?”

“My uncle’s parlor tricks are no match for the Dark side,” said Kylo Ren, biting out his words.

“And yet, you fear him desperately,” said Rey.

He’d been so concentrated on their arc of light that he hadn’t felt her creep into his mind. With a breath, he expelled her.

“I warn you that I am a match for you yet,” he said with his low voice.

Their sabers pressed for a moment longer before she stepped back, the blue light of her saber reflecting on her face as she sheathed it.

\-----

“I have no wish to probe your mind deeper,” said Rey. “Your mother and uncle insist that there is Light inside of you yet, but I have seen no proof of it.”

“If my previous act of allegiance to the Dark side was not enough to convince them, then nothing ever will,” said Ben.

He killed Han.

The memory of it still sucked breath from her body.

“Evil or no, I truly do believe you will regret that act, someday.”

Ben smiled, though there was no joy in it, and it reminded her of Luke so much that her heart ached. “Your hope is where you will fail.” He sheathed his saber and slipped it back into his robes.

“I grow tired of our conversation,” she said. “Shall we move forward to consummation?”

She was pleased to see the shadow of surprise cross his face.

It pleased her to know that she was able to unsettle him.

\-----

Kylo Ren quickly settled his face back into passivity and quirked an eyebrow at her. “You are eager.”

The girl frowned. “Eager to move forward with my training.”

“You are married, Rey. Your training is complete. Or incomplete, rather.”

“Just because I am no longer a Padawan...that doesn’t mean that I--” She swallowed deeply and then she threw her shoulders back.

She was brave. And foolish. But brave, first.

“I still have much to learn,” she finished.

“Yes,” he said simply. “You could learn even more, and at a rapid rate, if you would accept my help.”

“No,” she said, with a repulsed expression.

“Fine,” he said, and he stepped toward her. “If you will not let me teach you the ways of the force...you will settle for this.”

And then he kissed her.

\-----

It was meant to intimidate her - the way he loomed over her, the way he pressed his body against hers. The kiss was barely that - rough and possessing - and she ripped her lips from his. What had been a hard, monstrous possession was now a smirk.

“You can re-think your approach to that, Ben Solo,” she said strongly. “I’m not a cantina concubine meant for your pleasure. You will not treat my body so poorly.”

“So you wish to be wooed?” he asked her mockingly.

“No,” she said. “But I will proceed with this coupling in a way that I choose, or I will not consent to consummate this marriage. And you can return to your Master and give him the bad news.”

“Your confidence abounds, for one so young and so untrained,” said Ben.

“ _Stop_ talking about my training,” she said in a low voice. “You’re doing it just to anger me.”

“And yet you call me by the wrong name.”

“Hm,” she said, her voice thoughtful. “Are you not Ben Solo?”

\-----

Kylo Ren advanced toward the girl once again. “That name...belongs to someone who is dead.”

She twisted her hands in her voluminous white skirt. It was distracting him.

“Your mother calls you Ben, still,” she said simply. “And speaks of you with love and joy.”

Abruptly, he turned from her and faced away. “I do not wish to hear of her. She is a general in the Resistance. Nothing more.”

“Some day you may believe that statement, but not now,” said the girl.

He was silent. There were no words he wanted to speak in regard to Leia Organa…

He felt Rey’s presence behind him, and when her voice spoke it was soft, with the quieting calmness reserved for animals and small children. “I believe her, Ben - I believe that the Light--”

“ _Stop_ ,” said Kylo Ren, in a low voice. “No more words. I’m weary of them.”

The cautious hope drained from her face and was replaced with a bitter resolve. “As you wish. Let us begin?”

\-----

She did not wait to see if he would follow her into the rooms at the back of the house. One room was filled with various mechanical objects and gem cutting materials. Another was a small wet room made of stone, with a round wooden tub in the middle of it.

The bedroom was the last door she opened.

It was small as well, with large windows that showed the dense foliage around them. The windows were open. She could smell the water, could hear it gently lapping at the shore.

_Imagine an ocean._

Rey shook the memory from her head, and glanced at Ben warily. She worried that any unpleasant memory might be him - his mind pushing at the edge of hers.

She suspected, though, that it was the same for her as it was for him. She could feel his powers pushing against hers - they were both so attuned to the Force, both of them accessing the same wavelengths, almost.

It made it very hard to think straight.

Only with concentration did she maintain focus. But she felt Ben’s presence against hers constantly, and knew that he was not so cautious.

She walked into the room, the cold air pouring over the both of them.

He only just entered, and when he seemed ready to simply stand in the doorway, she sighed with exasperation. “Will you not come in?”

\-----

He took a step into the room. This place designated for their coupling.

Kylo Ren wanted to sigh, but settled for a slow exhalation.

The awkwardness of the moment was thick between them. He could not help but stare at the bed, at the hard surface there. Ithorian ideas of comfort were not his own.

It would be like mating on a concrete slab.

Mating. He would soon have relations with this girl, and the idea of it was unsettling. This girl with her slim hips and tall figure. Her defiant jaw that he alternately wished to strike and--

“Why are you looking at me like that,” she said sharply.

He didn’t dignify that with an answer.

When she spoke, it was with a sincerity that surprised him.

“Why can you not make this easier? For both our sakes?”

“Because I believe there is no way to make this easy. It is an artificial situation, constructed by those who do not have to execute it. You and I are the only ones who suffer.”

“I know you take no pleasure in it. But it would be...easier for the both of us if we didn’t have to squabble through the whole thing.”

His eyebrows raised slightly. “You propose a truce.”

“I never shall,” she said softly. “The crimes you have committed are abhorrent and numerous. As a Jedi, you know that I cannot tolerate it. I’ve seen you - well. I’ve seen too much to ever desire peace between us.”

Her words incited no anger in him. Instead he felt a sort of calm she referenced his crimes, as if her tearing him apart were a form of flagellation.

“However, I don’t have to accept your sins, Ben. I don’t have to love you or kiss you or care for you. What I have to do, and you as well, is get through this night without killing one another.”

\-----

There. She’d laid her plan before him, and it was now his to accept or not. She hoped he did, held her eyes away from him for she knew that they would appear pleading.

They only had to consummate their marriage. In this way, in the _old_ way, they would guarantee the contract.

She felt great relief when he finally nodded. “I accept your proposal.”

“Thank you,” she said, and it all sounded very formal. And very final. To ease the tension between them, she offered one thought that she’d sworn she would not.

“Ben, I don’t believe that your...sins, as you call them, are irredeemable. I know that inside of you there is--”

He raised one hand at her, a warning.

“Fine,” she said simply.

“I don’t want to talk of this any longer,” he said, with a flashing expression. “Every word you speak leads me away from our agreement.”

She paused, and considered.

“Very well. Then let’s proceed,” she said. She placed her hand on his arm and pulled at his robe, with a gentle tug.

\-----

The feeling was not fear. Kylo Ren didn’t fear this girl-child. She was as untrained and vulnerable as a newborn foal, learning to walk on steady legs.

She hadn’t the presence of mind to fear him.

She hadn’t the understanding of what she was capable of.

She hadn’t the knowledge of what he had done.

She spoke of his sins, his crimes, as if she knew.

Why then, did her hand on his arm arrest him so?

The dying sun had left the sky, replaced by the bright moonshine of Arxcus and Trimboline, the moons of Ithor. They shone so brightly that it was almost a pale new day in the room where they stood.

The light of the moons slid over the shoulders of Rey, her unbound hair loose over her shoulders. She turned away from him, and slid the fabric from her shoulders. Not low enough to expose herself fully, but enough to show a smooth expanse of skin, perfectly unmarked spine, the curve of her shoulder blade.

And then she turned around.

The cloth was clinging to the tops of her breasts, her collarbone creating the slightest of shadows on her body.

“You’re still there,” she said softly.

“Where?”

“Standing awkwardly by the door.”

“Where would you have me?” he asked her, feeling almost...confused in this moment. Unsure.

The words that had seemed to tumble out of them both so easily before were now lost.

\-----

Rey gestured to the bed. “You may sit,” she said, her voice coming out of her throat much too formal.

She was surprised when, after a moment, he obeyed her, and moved slowly to sit on the edge of it. The black fabric swathing him fell over the bed. His legs were absurdly long.

She moved to stand in front of him. In arm’s reach.

His eyes were dark as they looked at her body, his skin even more pale in the moonlight. However he did not raise his hands to her, even when she placed her fists on her hips and jutted her chest forward a bit.

Finally he found his voice. “I wonder at your hesitation, girl.”

“I have no hesitation,” she said lightly. “I was merely...well. I see it is up to me to move this thing forward.”

And with a shrug, the muslin that covered her body pooled around her waist.

\-----

Her breasts were small, but high and firm, her torso the palest shade of white - this scavenger had no business, no _right_ to have skin so perfect and fine. To have breasts tipped in a tantalizing shade of dusky blush.

To face him with no fear. To feel no shame for her body as she stood before him, exposed and open.

Lust began to curl inside of him. And not simply the physical lust that he had known that he would need to feed inside of himself. Kylo Ren knew that he had felt an attraction to this girl, but had attributed it to the Force’s hold on her.

Maybe it was more than that.

Maybe he would not be able to discern the difference at this point.

She held her hand out to him, asking for his.

After a moment, he gave it to her.

\-----

His hands were still covered in his leather gloves, and she wanted them off. It repelled her, the idea of the leather, and she would not allow it.

It was still, however, a surprise to her when he let her remove them.

She held his wrist gently in her hand, and pinched the tips of his fingers before drawing the glove away from his body.

For a brief moment, she’d felt a flare inside of her as his warm skin pressed to her.

“Why?” he asked quietly.

“I don’t want to feel those on my body,” she said smoothly.

“Do you believe your...desires...will determine how this night progresses?” he asked her, his voice sounding hoarse.

“I believe that we will find a mutual ground for ourselves,” she said, and looked at his face for one lingering moment.

Where was his desire for control?

She hadn’t expected to have to seduce Ben Solo. To _want_ to.

\-----

After she’d bared his hands, he’d felt a strong urge to run them around her small waist - there and elsewhere too.

This was not simple lust.

Kylo had experienced lust before, which was like a hot-burning meteor of exertion. Quick to spark, and even faster to fade away.

The Force was wrapping around them, the room was thick with it. He could feel the call of her mind as it lay before him - shielded, yes, but there was no part of him that didn’t long to dive into it there. To discover the secrets within that she hid so well.

Finally, she raised one hand to his shoulder, and moved her body between his legs, which parted as if he’d asked them to. He had not.

“Ben, must you make things so difficult?” she said softly.

“What would you have me do?”

“Touch me,” she said, in a choking whisper.

His desire for her mind was mingling dangerously with the physical desire for her body.

When she patiently-- _pleadingly_ \--asked him to put his hands on her, he had no choice.

He placed one large palm over her belly - warmth, the rolling warmth of her. He formed a word with his lips but no sound came.

He slid his hand up, the skin there rippled with goosebumps.

He had killed men before - slowly, and with pleasure. Felt their breath stop as he blocked their supply of air.

He felt her breath now as he dragged two fingers up her sternum now.

She drew in a hot breath, her eyes away from his when he looked at her.

“Rey, who dreams of a vast ocean,” he said softly.

One hand brushed over her breast. Her breath stopped.

He curled one arm just below her backside and pulled her toward him.

\-----

He had been so abrupt that she’d nearly lost her balance. Her hands grasped onto his shoulders to keep from stumbling. And then his mouth was curled over her right breast. He wasn’t nibbling or sucking, as any normal man might’ve. He was drawing in a great mound of her, laving her, dragging his mouth over her until the cool air puckered over the wetness and she shivered.

And then he reached for her other breast.

His hand was still grasping her to him, but now he was grabbing great fistfuls of her dress, rucking it up and over her waist. His hand finally reached her skin - bare of any underthings, in the old tradition.

He slid his hand between the gap of her thighs.

At this, she made a choking sound and grasped him tighter. One of her arms was around his neck, his black hair falling over her arm.

Finally he ripped his mouth away from her, ending the terrifying mix of fear, physical pleasure and the Force that ran between them.

She feared that said mix would permeate this encounter.

Make her thoughts come to her slow and slurred.

She shook her head, trying to find her clarity.

He was muttering something at her now, no words that she could recognize. He pulled at the back of her dress, wrenching it open, until the white cloth fell away from her hips, and she was bare.

Bare in front of Ben Solo.

\----

Kylo Ren could feel his precision slipping from him, and some deep, animalistic side of him was taking over.

He began to rise from the bed, the desire to grasp her body to his starting to overcome all other rational rejections.

As he rose, she pushed him down firmly with one hand, to keep him sitting before her on the bed.

He stared at her.

_Scavenger._

Many years of lean meals and hard work had made her slim, the bones of her hips visible, her belly curved with muscle and tone.

And the place between her legs was a glowing thing, a high-contrast to the pale skin surrounding it.

She pushed him backward again, with a firm and quick pressure, and when he bobbed back for just a breath, she climbed onto his lap, her knees spread on either side of his hips.

\-----

For a long moment she stared down at him, at the glittering black of his eyes. The somber set of his mouth. She saw the desire pulse through him, through the darkness.

She raised her fingers, and touched them to the black wings of one of his brows. Over the small seam of a scar there.

“Did I cut you so broad?” she whispered, her voice uneven.

“Yes,” he said shortly, he hands circling around her, moving restlessly over her skin. Grasping on to her backside. Digging his fingers in until she hissed a breath through her throat.

“And yet you don’t hate me,” she said, like it was a known fact.

It was.

She could feel it pour through him - despite his anger, his...repulsion at her choices. Despite their crossed lightsabers, he hadn’t hated her.

Why?

He did not answer her, but said only, “Do not presume to know my mind, or I shall--”

She invaded him now, her body pressed against his, her torso sliding against the black cloth of his robes. She entered his mind, and saw--

_A small boy on a dusty planet-_

_A black planet, the boy crying-_

_Women screaming_

_And then her - Rey - standing on a jutting rock._

He pushed her from his mind and spoke harshly. “You will not like what you see there one day.”

In answer she rocked her body forward, grunted slightly, and pushed aside his robe and midcoat with a terse familiarity. And then she ran her hand over the pulsing heat of him, grasping him firmly there.

He drew breath quickly, and clutched her to him.

She whispered to him harshly now. “Ben Solo, you give me patience but not kindness. Mercy but no understanding. I will not beg to be privy to your thoughts. But know that one day soon you will no longer be a mystery to me. And on that day, I will defeat your master and turn you back to the Light.”

And she gently bit the lobe of his ear, with a delicate preciseness. It undid him completely.

He grasped her teasing hips, and slid down her body, lifting her hips and jerking them toward his face as he sank to the ground by the bed.

His mouth, capable of such cruelty, of such violence, was a deft tool he employed now. At first she relaxed her legs, readied them to accept this unexpected pleasure.

But there was no pleasure here. It was a sick thing, what he did to her body. His tongue played between her legs, his hands on her thighs, spreading her wide open. He was sending jolts through her body - of what, she didn’t know. But it must have been some wicked darkness - something unholy enough to rip such sounds from her throat. He sent waves of it through her. It rolled over her thighs and through her belly, into the muscles of her lower back, and beyond.

Soon, so soon, she lifted her hips from the mattress and tried to squeeze her legs shut, but he was too strong.

“I will do it again,” he said, like a warning.

She shuddered and a broken “Yes,” filled her lips.

\-----

The feeling of the control he had over her was a heady one. He knew she would not allow him near her mind, but the grunting, gasping sounds from her body were nearly inhuman, and that was enough.

He set his mouth between her legs again, to that silken, shadowed place that caused his body to pulse and twitch. The exquisite eagerness he felt crackling through him making him dizzy.

Her thighs seized when he felt her body contract again, and the girl let a sobbing sound tear out of her body. It was so simple to turn her into a gasping, glaze-eyed supplicant. Such eagerness would be her undoing, he thought, even as he scrambled to his feet.

“Do _not_ look so smug at me, Ben,” she said, with a dazed irritation. “I can clearly see that you desire _me_ as well.”

His lust had made him sloppy, but he had no time to chastise himself, to slow this down, to fight her accusation. He was too busy scrabbling between his robes, releasing the folds of fabric that held him.

Crawling over her body. Between her open legs.

\-----

It had taken her more than a moment to regain any sense of speech, but when she did she was quick to wipe the look of arrogant satisfaction from his face.

She raised her arms now and pulled him over her.

He was still dressed in his ridiculous robes. She pushed against him, enough to create some space for her to pull the wide leather belt from his body, where it had been digging into her.

He was patient, somewhat, while she did this, but she could feel the pulsing eagerness of him in her mind, and could no longer tell if he was intentionally reaching for her thoughts or not. She suspected not. The Force was binding between them, thick as water, swallowing everything away from her.

Finally.

Finally, he set himself between her legs, and she lifted her hips, adjusted to accommodate the length of him.

At first, he pushed into her only some, but they both gasped at the warmth of one another.

She thought then he would retreat, but what he did was drop his head to her shoulder. She dug her nails into his back firmly, wrapped her legs around his waist, and pushed herself down to him. On to him.

“Rey,” he said with a choking whisper.

“You are not Kylo Ren,” she said.

And then he kissed her, a kiss that asked for nothing and took all.

\-----

The awkwardness between them surfaced long before Rey had found the simple robes that the handmaidens had left her. They faced away from one another as they adjusted themselves as much as they could. The moon was low, and cold poured through the windows.

“Will you stay?” he asked, his voice startling her with its formality.

Which was odd, considering the little trickle of wetness between her legs, proof of their unflinching intimacy. “I think not,” she said. “I have much that is expected of me.”

He nodded, just once. “I assume you will...inform me if you are breeding.”

She wrapped her wedding clothes into a ball of white frippery and tossed it in a corner of the room, to rot for all she cared.. “I think not, Ben. I have a device in place that prevents such a thing.”

His face was stony. “That violates the spirit of the contract.”

“But not the letter of it,” she answered quickly. “Unless, of course, you’re eager for a youngling soon.

“Certainly not,” he said, and she knew he meant it. “However, my Master is under the impression…”

“I know very well what your Master thinks,” she said.

“He will expect me to return to you if you do not breed,” said Ben.

She looked at him then - as he stood in the doorway of the bedroom, watching her gather her things. He was back in his Knight garb. The wide leather belt, gloves on his hands. Only his face was exposed. His face.

“So return if you must, Ben. I shall be in the Neutral Zone, and you know it.”

And then she returned dressing.

She did not hear him leave.

\-----

Three months later, she’s on her ship and orbiting Kothlis, compiling data that the General sent over.

She had just finished lunch when she was hailed by a dark ship that somehow slipped by her scanner.

Before she can even answer, she’s sent an encrypted file.

It is an override code.

Despite her firm grounding and excellent sense, Rey smiled.

_/fin_

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, I hope you'll read my other Kylo Ren/Rey fic, _In the Dark Air_ , which I like a lot better than this thing.


End file.
